I’ll do anything for cookies

After years of being shot down, Donald lowered his sights a little:

 

Low expectations

 

“I’ll do anything for cookies.”

For cookies? Really? Poor guy.

…What would he do for a pie?

I’m not one to call the kettle black, though. I am a fiend when it comes to sweets, especially cookies. They’re little, portable bites of goodness. I made the mistake of baking a roll of Pillsbury’s seasonal peppermint sugar cookies early this week. I used my blackened, well-seasoned baking stone and these rocked. But ya know what? They’re all gone now. Howie doesn’t even like them. He took one bite of one and handed the remainder of the cookie¬†back to me.

Who does that??

I can’t keep stuff like that in the house. If there is healthy stuff available, I’ll eat it. If there are cookies or anything else delectable like them, that’s where I gravitate. Just step away from the sweets, m’am, and no one will get hurt.

The image is an illustration from a 1948 Baby Ruth candy advertisement. Click the image above and you’ll see the whole ad. I found it at plan59.com, which boasts a huge online repository of vintage ads and art, plus offers prints and hi-res image of the same.

By the way, I always assumed the candy bar was named after baseball great, Babe Ruth, but it turns out there’s speculation it was named after others. Baseball wins, though. Snopes has the skinny.


Marauding Squirrel goes to the spa

animated gif of a squirrel receiving a back massage from another squirrel

My friend Lisa in Kentucky has a squirrel that keeps pilfering goodies from the bird feeders at her family’s place. A whole group of friends on Facebook is involved in a running joke about Marauding Squirrel. We may laugh, but I must defend the little guys. Squirrels of all sorts work so hard at what they do, poor things!

They stretch:

And ... stretch Fineshades Park Day Trip 8

They hang:

Stretched Out Drop in and stretch out

They sneak:

Sometimes they’re forced to solve puzzles devised by cruel human beings:

this is my squirrel proof feeder

One of the sacks is living! Squirrel-proof?

It’s exhausting!

Squirrel lounge

Sometimes they just need to relax. Can you blame them?

animated gif of a squirrel receiving a back massage from another squirrel

After a week of looting and pillaging, Marauding Squirrel needed a trip to the spa.

It puts the lotion on its skin, err, calendar

It puts the lotion on its calendar?

At the left is a screenshot of Jorte Calendar’s settings menu. Click the thumbnail to enlarge it.

First, let me say that I love Jorte Calendar. It’s one of the first things I’m sure to install when I get a new Android device. It’s currently on my HTC Amaze 4G, ASUS Transformer and was on my Kindle Firebefore I factory reset it and gave it to my mom.

This is what Jorte looks like on my HTC Amaze 4G's homescreen.

What’s the best thing about Jorte? The full-month calendar widget rocks! It has add-ons that give you extra fonts and colorful icons for events, but I prefer the clean look of it without them:

However, When I saw this, all I could think of was the unforgettable The Silence of the Lambs and creepy Jamie Gumb, the cross-dressing serial killer masterfully played by Ted Levine, holding his poodle and peering into the pit at his captive.

Who can forget his detached voice intoning, “It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again”?

Not for the faint of heart, that movie, but so good!

 

While we’re watching, have a laugh at these two TV clips referencing that famous scene. First, Craig Ferguson’s monologue:

And here’s a clip from Live! With Kelly, featuring Science Bob and Neil Patrick Harris:

I just heard a voice say, “It starts its work. It starts its work!”

Gotta go!

Oh, the difference a hyphen can make

I received recipe newsletter from the Just A Pinch yesterday, the subject of which said Man Catching Fried Chicken. The recipe’s here.

Man Catching Fried Chicken Recipe

What the recipe was called: Man Catching Fried Chicken

When I read the subject line, I knew what the recipe’s submitter was trying to say when she titled it. This is a place where one tiny hyphen would have made a difference in the literal interpretation of the phrase. This is what immediately popped into my mind:

Doodle of man catching a bucket of KFC fried chicken.

What I saw in my mind: Man catching fried chicken.

Actually, my mental image was better, but I don’t have the drawing skills to reproduce what’s in my mind’s eye!

When two or more words modify the noun that come after them, there should be a hyphen in between them (see Compound Modifiers).

Man-catching fried chicken implies, “This fried chicken is so good, it’s sure to catch you a man”. However, without that hyphen, the phrase means this: (The) man (is) catching fried chicken. The words in parentheses are assumed.

Mansight: Things hiding in plain view

The mister and I have a long-running joke about mansight. It’s a term I coined to describe the phenomenon explaining the inability of most men to see what is right in front of them. You know what I’m talking about, ladies. You ask him to get the cottage cheese out of the fridge, but he insists there is no cottage cheese in there. You look, and the cottage cheese container is performing covert ops, stubbornly hiding in plain sight next to the carton of last night’s take-out leftovers. That’s mansight.

So, I laughed aloud the other night when I ordered Chinese food for delivery from the awesome Billy Lee’s Chop Suey House since Howie was at a meeting. This was the fortune in my cookie: “You find what you’re looking for; just open your eyes!”

I didn’t just laugh when I read that, I roared. It’s not often something so perfect shows up in a fortune cookie. So, I made a little sign, writing “Mansight…” and drawing a heart. I affixed the fortune in the heart’s center and placed the sign on the fridge.

Saturday morning, I asked my beloved if he’d noticed the fridge.

“Yes….”, he said, a little testily. I asked him when he noticed it and he replied, “This morning.”

I put it on the fridge Tuesday night.

That, friends, is mansight.

Happy valentine’s day, Howie – I love you dearly!