Oh, I have to post this one, too. It was a good night of e-mails. My friend Lani send this best jokes…
Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can’t believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirin, enters the bathroom, and cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.
Then a note catches his attention: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping–Love you!” He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, “Son…what happened last night?”
“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”
“So, why is everything in such perfect order? Everything’s so clean and I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh THAT!…Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone, lady, I’m married!’.”
Broken furniture – $85.26
Hot Breakfast – $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time………