Purina diet

I used to have a Labrador retriever and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart. Waiting in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Duuuuuhhh…Here’s Your Sign.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time


. But, I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete. So, I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her. Horrified, she asked if I’d been poisoned. I told her no; I’d been sitting in the middle of the street licking myself and a car hit me.

The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from laughter. I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.

This is one of those treasures by “Author Unknown”. What would we do without his/her wit and willingness to share? As with any of these goodies I post, if you can help me give credit to the original author, I’d like to include that information!

2 thoughts on “Purina diet

  1. LOL! You must have scared her silly! HMan is really doing well!!! I had a lot of success on the Atkins diet after having my daughter. I’m going to try that again tomorrow as it was the one I was most successful at. Take care again!

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