Puppy killers

You never know about people and the shoes they wear. Take my husband, for instance. You’d never know it just to look at him. After all, he looks so affable, so trustworthy. He really is, too, honestly he is. But his new shoes, so comfortable for him, are deadly weapons.


He just picked them up at Fleet Feet today, a seemingly fine pair of New Balance 964 Country Walkers. Sporting water-proof uppers, they’re just the thing for hiking in the woods or taking a stroll in the rain.

But there’s something terribly wrong with them. It wasn’t readily noticeable at first. They waited until we were away from the store, after he’d trod the parking lots and entryways of a couple other places…After they couldn’t be returned. It’s as if they knew they were irrevocably free.

MW964.jpgIt happened suddenly, too. We noticed his normally silent stride was oddly interrupted. It changed to something like this: Step…Yip! Step…Yip! Step….Yip!

It wasn’t the floor, either. It was the shoes.

The noise was pitiful, and it hit home immediately: His shoes are puppy killers! With every step he takes with his left foot, he kills an innocent, invisible puppy. It’s horrible, but that’s the only answer we can come up with, the only one to explain the persistent, pained yelp we hear coming from the vicinity of his feet. Poor puppies.

You know how much we love dogs. We hope Fleet Feet will exchange these Puppy Killers for a more kindly pair. Howie cannot, in good conscience, wear them. He’s just that kind of guy.

This entry was posted in Humor.

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