One of their best customers

I’ll have you know, they consider me one of their best customers. See?

But I have to tell you…


If that’s the case, their business must really be hurting!

See, I’ve never ordered from Lane Bryant. I think their clothes are great-looking, but haven’t bought anything from them in more than a decade (and that was at a mall, not at their website). Still, they feed my ego and fuel my lust for beautiful clothes by sending me their e-mail specials. I still don’t buy, though. Nope, I wear my sweats and jeans, my comfy shirts, and I think, “well, I could dress like that if I went out and got a job.”

Nah. I enjoy being able to stay home while I can. I’ll just shop clearance sales and keep a couple of really smart and sassy tops and coordinating pants ready for going out. In the meantime I will be Comfort Queen. These legs have not felt the silken constriction of full-length panty hose in at least six years, and they like it that way.