Indecent Proposal

I’m watching TLC’s Perfect Proposal right now. Brian has had his wedding proposal mowed into a big hayfield and plans to have Tammy and himself flown over it in a small plane. He’s getting her up there under the pretense of viewing their new house from the air…She just doesn’t know about the proposal. It’s a really fun thing he did to surprise her, very creative. However…


I don’t know if Brian and Tammy were living together, but the fact the voiceover said “over their new house” made it sound that way. Okay, I’m having a very rare public politically-incorrect, narrowminded moment. I’m sorry, but to me, it’s kind of anticlimactic for there to be a big proposal and huge wedding if a couple’s already sharing a home.

The marriage license announcements in the paper have far more couples listed at the same address than not. It’s great they’re getting married, but it just shows how many people have chosen the “try it before you buy it” mentality. I believe marriage is important, that it means something more than just a piece of paper.

It just generally saddens me, as do many of the birth announcements. Parents with a shared married name are so few and far between in the birth announcements listed in the paper, too. I know society’s changed, that people view living together as acceptable. But to me, aside from the moral implications, it just reinforces the “my stuff vs. your stuff” mentality.

That’s not what marriage is all about, not to us at least. People who live together before marriage are more likely to get divorced, and I think it has a lot to do with never really coming into the relationship as a single unit.

I don’t hound people who live in ways other than what I believe are good. That’s for them to learn and decide on their own. They’re just missing out on a lot, I think. If you really love each other and intend to spend your lives together, why not marry? Reluctance to do so says to me that basic commitment is lacking.

5 thoughts on “Indecent Proposal

  1. Wow,.. I really agree with you there even though I am a hypocrite for doing so.

    Our situation was odd, and Brian moved here from NJ to Missouri and had nowhere else to stay. That being said, it is really rare these days to see people getting married befoire moving in and having babies.

    What can I say, I am a big old-fashioned prude. I always swear that I am really an 80 year old woman trapped in a 28 yr old’s body

  2. My wife & I met as urban missionaries. She was on the East side of Cleveland and I was on the West. After that year because she had family to take care of we both went back to her home town. We set up a similar situation to our mission house. We had chaparones the entire time prior to our marriage. Just because the address is the same doen’t make the situation unbiblical. It DOES however look bad to the relatives & other’s who are not in the know. We found out to our chagrin, 25 years later, that one of Margie’s older relatives never got the word and is still miffed that we wer “shacking up”. It the case of this TV program, considering today’s morals, I’m 99% positive they are “practicing”. Too bad.

  3. LOL I watched that same episode the other day. I thought it was hysterical that she was so afraid of flying. Anyway, because of my own experiences I can’t agree with all of your comments about sharing a home before marriage, etc.. the house that was mentioned is the one that they’re currently building together. It’s still just a foundation & shell – not nearly “live-able”.

  4. I just wanted to clear the air about my proposal.(Not that it’s really anyones business) Tammy and I were building a home together at the time of the proposal, correct. However the detail that nullifies any comments you have made about us is that we were married September 6th 2004. We moved into our new home together on February 1st 2005. I hope this put all of your minds at ease.
    Thanks for your interest in my values and our lives.
    Brian Arseneau

  5. Sorry if my post offended you, but when you agree to do a show on national TV, you’ve made certain aspects of your life public. And those watching do have the right to voice their opinions. The show got me thinking and spurred me to write very generally about what I believe about marriage, that’s all.

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