In the wee small hours of the morning

When the sun is high in the afternoon sky
You can always find something to do
But from dusk till dawn as the clock ticks on
Something happens to you

Isn’t that the truth? There’s nothing like a long night when there’s a lot on one’s mind. This is one of those nights for me.

In the wee small hours of the morning
While the whole wide world is fast asleep
You lie awake and think about the boy
And never ever think of counting sheep

It’s almost 3:00am, an hour I reckon counts as wee and small. I’m not lying awake, no, I gave up on that and just got up. I’m sitting awake thinking about the boy. I never count sheep, anyway.

When your lonely heart has learned its lesson
You’d be his if only he’d call
In the wee small hours of the morning
That’s the time you miss him most of all

My heart is forever learning lessons, such as the remarkable resiliance of people. It is troubled a little tonight at their frailty. I am his, no “if only he’d call” thing going on there. I don’t really miss him yet – he’s right in the next room. But in these wee small hours of the morning, I anticipate how much I’m going to miss him this coming week when he’s at Johns Hopkins and not snoring softly in our bed with me. I know deep in my heart that everything will go well in his surgery Monday — How can it not after the amazing things which have happened and laid the path for us to even be here in Maryland.

Yet my mind of course nettles, pricking my faith and conjuring up the inevitable “what if’s”. I do not voice these, even here, alone. My prayers are instead, “please, let everything go well Monday”. It’s just a long night, one I wondered why was long in coming. I guess it’s like the first stanza says:

When the sun is high in the afternoon sky
You can always find something to do
But from dusk till dawn as the clock ticks on
Something happens to you

The last several weeks have been so busy with the holidays, visiting friends and family, preparing for our trip East and making our way out here, it’s been easier to find something to do, something to distract the mind. But now that we’ve arrived, gotten the pre-op appointments out of the way and spent one day sleeping and resting up from the past weeks’ flurry…Now that the things we brought with us are stowed away for our stay here and there’s little to do other than surf the web, read a book, watch TV or e-mail people…This is that dusk-till-dawn time. And tonight is my personal dusk-till-dawn time, a vigil I’ve needed to sit but have, I think, avoided.

Daylight will be so welcome, as will Monday evening, when The Boy is recovering and this awful limbo is a memory. He sleeps for now, and I pray it’s a good sleep to refresh him and calm his heart. It’s my night watch tonight.

* Song lyrics by mann/hilliard

This entry was posted in Faith.

5 thoughts on “In the wee small hours of the morning

  1. Praying for your next few weeks to be that of joy and comfort in knowing that you have had treatment at one of the very best clinics in the world. May you be blessed with less pain and joy beyond belief as you two travel down this road to recovery from Hman’s surgery.

    I know well how hard major surgery is on the wife. I have been down a similar road back in 91 when my DH had open heart surgery. It is tough to think about but when it is all done and he is doing so much better you will be praising the Lord for his new life. May you both travel into the new life with the grace that you have shown under fire through these last few months.


  2. this made me cry, but i so understand and have been in this place. Praying that your watching allows you to see and hear all that you need, and will be certainly praying for “the boy” on monday and in the weeks to come.

  3. *hugs*
    I’ll be praying for the surgery to be a success Kimberley. Good luck to you both! I also feel that everything will work out. Like you said, so much has already happened to get you to this point!

    Take care!

  4. It has always amazed me how the human mind works. Howie sleeps, resigned to the ordeal he must face and his mind says… sleep…you are as ready as you can be…

    But you sit awake, pondering and fretting over that wich is yet to come, unable to put aside thoughts that the one you love is going to undergo something that you cannot take on or make easy for him. And if the places were switched, it would be you sleeping and Howie awake.

    Godspeed to both of you and may the Lord watch over and keep you safe.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *