Haiku

The haiku form is wonderful, each a concise, three-line poem. They can rhyme, but usually don’t. The exacting structure is what sets it apart:

5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables

It doesn’t sound like much to work with, but it is. It stretches you, really gets the creative juices flowing. Haiku, be it funny or poignant, is one of my favorite literary forms. What follows is an example of how current and humorous haiku can be. I’ll share more in future entries.


Redneck Haiku
Author Unknown

DEPRIVED
In Wal-Mart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants ‘rassling doll
Mama whups his rear

BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

BLAZE
Distant siren screams
Dumbass Verne’s been playing with
Gasoline again

EXUBERANCE
Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil

ALONE
Seeking solitude
Carl’s sixth wife Tammy files for
Restraining order

DRAMA
Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
On at 9 O’Clock

GATHERING
In the morning mist
Mama searches K-Mart for
Moon Pies and Red Man

REMEMBRANCE
My own dear Pappy’s
Final words on this Earth were
“Hey Fellers watch this”

COVERAGE
My families fame
Aunt Gert stabbed Uncle Bubba
Live on last weeks “COPS”

Please, oh, please I beg
If you know this work’s author
Drop me a line soon

This entry was posted in Humor.

4 thoughts on “Haiku

  1. These were actually penned by a Mortgage Banker friend of mine back in 2001 – I’ve lost touch with him. He was going to do them up in a book but don’t know if it happened. Last email addy I had was: pearse48@aol.com. Here was a really funny series he wrote:

    HAIKU FROM CHURCH

    DISCOMFORT
    Burning sensation
    Coming from my cloven hooves
    In the vestibule

    CACKLING
    The wailing Blue Hair
    Sounds just like Ethel Merman
    With a speed problem

    IMPENDING DOOM
    Grumble from colon
    The gas from 16 Guinness
    Moves toward escape

    TACTICAL STRIKE
    My cheeks clenched in fear
    Trying to time the blast with
    The organs low notes

    AFTERSHOCK
    The wooden pew shakes
    From the reverberation
    Of cursed poo gas

    PASSING BLAME
    The accusing stare
    From Girlfriend redirected
    At the flying child

    REVELATION
    Woman 2 seats down
    Confuses butt explosion
    With Divine Message

    PUTRID
    Hellfire and Brimstone
    Couldn’t smell nearly as bad
    As horrid beer fart

    BLASPHEMY
    Daring damnation
    I am hypnotized by the
    Wonderful fun bags

    WANDERING
    My fantasy world
    Goes into auto-pilot
    Brought back by gas pains

    INNOCENT VICTIM
    “Mommy my eyes hurt”
    is the cry from frightened lad
    I start to chuckle

  2. Oh, WONDERFUL! Thanks for letting me know, and for posting more! I’ll probably copy them to a new entry since it will go with the theme.

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