B is the new C

A or B, not COkay, are you ready for today’s test? Have a couple of No. 2 pencils sharpened and at the ready? Good. Turn over your answer sheet and begin. You have thirty minutes to complete this test.

The saying goes, if you don’t know what to answer on multiple-choice questions, choose C. It’s a much-discussed question.

A story’s circulating about a kid who took this a bit far. Please note that I have not been able to verify the following story’s truth. I just think it’s too funny not to post. If I learn more about it, I’ll update this entry.

Evidently unprepared for the test, he decided to go with the theory of choosing C on every question and hedge his bet.  What he failed to notice was, the entire test was made up of True/False questions. That would make it a choice between A or B.

To the left you will find this student’s Scantron form, as he turned it in.

Below is an e-mail sent to him by his professor.

Dear Michael,

Every year I attempt to boost my students’ final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True/False questions from only 3 chapters of material. For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score of a zero is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.

There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with a least a quarter of the answers. It’s as if you didn’t look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year!

May God have mercy on your soul.

Professor William Turner

P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.
B is the new C

Wow, now that is pretty bad!

Do you have a funny story about someone cheating in school? Do you know any “trade secrets” for getting good results on computer-read answer sheets? Hint: Rubbing lip balm on the form does not work. If so, share your anecdotes in the comments.

3 thoughts on “B is the new C

  1. The only cheating story I have is from 8th grade. A “friend” cheated off my paper during a science test – even on the fill in the blank questions, she copied my answers word-for-word. The next day that teacher called us both out into the hall to show us the identical papers. I was adamant that I did not cheat, knowing my friend should confess. I thought she would confess, but she never did and we both had to take the test over. My friend made sure she studied for the retest. It’s not like she was cheating off a genius anyway!

  2. The only way to avoid failing a test is to study hard and know your stuff. Even that’s not 100% failproof, but it ups your odds considerably.

    And, by the way, altering the scantron form in any manner to skew the results? Doesn’t work. There’s always a hard copy that can be used to grade by hand.

    Oh, and one last thing. The zombie chickens have come for you.

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